The surgery to remove the tumors in her throat is over and Taylor did very well during the surgery it was just after. When she comes out of anesthesia and versed she is a totally different child. She is violent, and mad. She hits me and tells me no all while screaming and kicking.
For a couple of surgeries we would forgo the versed just because she did so well without it. Then we had a episode where she screamed and kicked and cried all the way down the hall, so we tried it again. And it worked great. This time we didn’t have such good luck. I’m torn on what to do.
After about 45 minutes of her screaming and kicking and hitting me I couldn’t take it any more. I cried and cried and kept saying how truly sorry I was that she had to endure this. I would take it all away in a second. I would take the burden myself to ease her pain if I could but I can’t. No one wants to see their child this enraged and upset.
Taylor’s voice is now beautiful again. She keeps talking just hear herself. She is singing which she has never done before. This too makes me cry. Just realizing how much when the tumors are growing back it really effects her personality. She is like a different child now. One I pray to keep a hold of.
